How patience can save you thousands of dollars—and years of regret.
This article is part of the My Philippines Retirement Hub, a collection of practical advice, personal experiences, and hard-earned lessons about retiring and living in the Philippines.
Slow Down
If I could give every American considering retirement in the Philippines one piece of advice, it would be this:
Don’t make any major financial or life-changing decisions during your first year.
The Philippines isn’t going anywhere.
The right house isn’t going anywhere.
The right business opportunity isn’t going anywhere.
And if she’s the right woman…
She’s not going anywhere either.
Your retirement savings, however, can disappear surprisingly fast if you rush into decisions before you understand how things work here.
I’ve lived in the Philippines for many years now, and while I absolutely love my retirement here, I’ve watched enough foreigners make expensive mistakes to recognize a pattern.
Most of those mistakes have one thing in common.
They happened because someone moved too fast.
Mistake #1: Falling in Love with an Online Profile
I’ll use myself as Exhibit A.
Years ago, I met a Filipina through an online dating site.
We talked for months.
The conversations were wonderful.
Eventually I decided to fly to the Philippines and begin a new chapter of my life with her.
Unfortunately, much of what she had told me wasn’t true.
She was about ten years older than she originally claimed.
She said she had never been married.
She had.
She told me she had no children.
She did.
She wasn’t divorced.
She was separated—a situation I later jokingly described in another article as being a W.I.N.O. (Wife In Name Only).
That experience taught me a lesson I’ll never forget.
The internet allows people to present the version of themselves they want you to see.
Living in another country also means learning unfamiliar cultural norms, something I discuss in Relationships, Age Gaps, Foreign Boyfriends and Family Support in the Philippines.
That isn’t unique to the Philippines.
It happens everywhere.
The difference is that when international relationships go wrong, the emotional and financial consequences can become much larger.
I’m not telling this story because every Filipina is dishonest.
Far from it.
I’ve met countless wonderful, honest, caring Filipino women.
I’m telling it because I wasn’t asking enough questions.
If I had to do it over again, I would never agree to live with someone before spending significant time with her in person, meeting her family, and seeing what everyday life together actually looked like.
One of my longtime expat friends gave me advice I’ll never forget.
He said,
“Forget the dating sites. Come to the Philippines first. There are plenty of wonderful women here. Meet people naturally.”
Looking back…
I think he was right.
Watch for These Red Flags
Be cautious if someone:
- falls deeply in love within days or weeks
- refuses or repeatedly avoids video calls
- immediately wants to move conversations off the dating app
- constantly asks for money
- has endless family emergencies
- needs help paying medical bills
- asks for money for airline tickets or visas
- claims they’re stranded at an airport or customs office
- asks you to invest in cryptocurrency or business opportunities
One rule has never failed me:
Never send money to someone you’ve never met in person.
Mistake #2: Buying Property Too Soon
Many foreigners arrive convinced they’re going to buy their dream retirement home.
Then they discover something surprising.
Foreigners cannot legally own land in the Philippines.
You can own:
- a condominium (subject to foreign ownership limits),
- a house built on leased land,
- or enter into long-term lease arrangements.
Many retirees eventually buy property successfully.
One lesson I learned early is that where you choose to live often matters more than what you choose to buy, as I pointed out in my post: Cebu vs. Dumaguete vs. Manila: Where Should You Retire? Especially after experiencing the different climates and lifestyles found throughout the Philippines.
But very few wish they had bought it sooner.
Most wish they’d rented longer.
Every province is different.
Every city is different.
Every neighborhood is different.
Rent first.
Learn the area.
Take your time.
The house of your dreams looks much different after you’ve lived through your first rainy season, typhoon season, and six months of daily life.
Mistake #3: Starting a Business
This one surprises many retirees.
They arrive with retirement savings.
They see opportunities everywhere.
Restaurants.
Beach bars.
Resorts.
Coffee shops.
Dive businesses.
Small stores.
The problem is that owning a business in the Philippines isn’t as straightforward as many people expect.
Foreign ownership rules can be complicated.
Some industries restrict foreign ownership.
Others require significant capital investment.
Many businesses require Filipino ownership or partnerships.
Personally…
If I were giving advice to a friend, I’d tell him not to retire in order to create another full-time job.
I’ve seen too many foreign-owned businesses struggle.
I’ve seen partnerships end badly.
I’ve seen friendships disappear over money.
Retirement should reduce stress.
Not create it.
One of the unexpected luxuries retirement gave me instead was time to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, like regular Massages in the Philippines: One Luxury I Never Expected to Afford.
Mistake #4: Lending Money
This warning applies equally to Filipinos…
…and to fellow foreigners.
Sooner or later someone will tell you about the opportunity of a lifetime.
A restaurant.
A resort.
A construction project.
A new invention.
A beachfront investment.
Maybe all they need is “a little help.”
Be careful.
I’ve watched enough business ventures fail to know that good intentions don’t guarantee good results.
Never lend money you cannot afford to lose.
Financial discipline becomes much easier when you understand the Cost of Living in the Philippines — Fantasy vs. Spreadsheet, which is why creating a realistic retirement budget is so important before moving overseas.
And never allow friendship to replace proper written agreements.
Mistake #5: Buying a Car Before You Need One
People are often surprised when I tell them I don’t own a car.
I don’t miss it.
One of my biggest concerns as a foreigner has always been liability.
If you’re involved in a serious traffic accident—even one that isn’t entirely your fault—you may find yourself dealing with situations very differently than you would back home.
That was one of the reasons I decided I’d rather let someone else do the driving.
Fortunately, transportation is easy.
Between tricycles, jeepneys, Grab, taxis, and private drivers, I found I enjoyed the freedom of not owning a car far more than I expected, especially after adjusting to everyday life here.
For many retirees, owning a car simply isn’t necessary.
A Word About Raffy Tulfo
If you’ve watched Raffy Tulfo in Action, you’ve probably noticed a recurring theme.
Many disputes involve money.
Relationships.
Broken promises.
Business partnerships.
Property.
Sometimes foreigners are the victims.
Sometimes they’re not.
The lesson isn’t that one side is good and the other side is bad.
The lesson is that people everywhere make poor decisions when emotions outrun common sense.
Watching those stories reminds me of one important truth.
Many expensive problems begin with decisions that once seemed like great ideas.
My Rule Today
If I were starting over…
I would rent.
Travel.
Observe.
Make friends.
Meet people naturally.
Learn how the system works.
I’d spend my first year learning instead of investing.
Only then would I make major commitments involving relationships, businesses, or property.
Before You Say Yes…
Before making any major commitment, ask yourself:
✓ Have I met this person in real life?
✓ Have I spent enough time here to understand the culture?
✓ Have I visited the neighborhood during different seasons?
✓ Have I received independent legal advice before signing anything?
✓ Am I making this decision because I’m excited…
…or because I’ve done my homework?
If waiting another six months changes your mind…
It probably wasn’t the right decision.
Final Thoughts
The Philippines has been one of the greatest adventures of my life.
I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.
But one lesson stands above all the others.
The foreigners who seem happiest here aren’t the ones who moved the fastest.
They usually spent their first months observing, adapting, and learning to appreciate the differences rather than trying to recreate the life they left behind, much like I describe in The Luxury Nobody Talks About: Less Hassle.
They’re the ones who took their time.
Paradise rewards patience.
💬 Your Turn
If you’ve retired overseas—or are planning to—what advice would you give someone just getting started?
Was there a lesson you learned the easy way…or the hard way?
Share your experience in the comments. Your advice might save another retiree from making an expensive mistake.
🌴 Continue Exploring
Retiring in the Philippines can be one of life’s greatest adventures—but the more you understand before you arrive, the smoother your transition will be. Here are a few more lessons learned along the way.
- 🚗 Why I Don’t Own a Car in the Philippines
Why I happily let someone else deal with traffic, parking, insurance, and accident liability. - 💵 Cash Is Still King
Why carrying small bills may be one of the smartest habits you’ll develop after moving here. - 🪣 The Day I Met the Bucket
One of every foreigner’s first—and most memorable—Philippine cultural surprises. - 🌞 The Heat Is Only Half the Story
Understanding the tropical climate is one of the biggest adjustments new retirees make. - 🏝️ Return to My Philippines Retirement
Explore more practical advice, observations, and lessons learned from retiring in the Philippines.
Every lesson learned today can save you a costly mistake tomorrow.
Bunker Rule
Every retiree’s journey is different. Share your experiences, advice, and lessons learned with respect for both fellow expats and the Filipino people. Honest discussions help everyone make better decisions and enjoy a more successful retirement.
Bunker Notice
This transmission has been archived in My Philippines Retirement, preserving the practical lessons, cultural insights, and real-life experiences that help future retirees make informed decisions before beginning their own Philippine adventure. Sometimes the most valuable advice isn’t about what to do—it’s about knowing when to slow down.