One shortcut every retiree in the Philippines should politely decline.
This article is part of the My Philippines Retirement Hub, a collection of observations, practical advice, and hard-earned lessons about retiring and living in the Philippines.
One of the first surprises many foreigners encounter in the Philippines isn’t the weather.
It isn’t the traffic.
It isn’t even the food.
Many of the biggest adjustments for new retirees aren’t major problems at all—they’re simply unfamiliar situations, much like discovering The Day I Met the Bucket, where a simple bathroom surprise turned into an unexpected lesson about adapting to life in the Philippines.
It’s the stranger who quietly walks up and says:
“Sir… I can help you.”
At first, it sounds friendly.
Maybe you’re standing in line at Immigration.
Perhaps you’re at the Land Transportation Office renewing a driver’s license.
Or maybe you’re trying to figure out which window you’re supposed to visit.
Before you’ve even had time to look around, someone offers to “make things easier.”
My advice?
Smile.
Thank them.
Then politely decline.
Who Are the Fixers?
In the Philippines, these individuals are commonly known as fixers.
A fixer is someone who offers to speed up, bypass, or simplify government procedures in exchange for a fee. Sometimes they’re simply independent opportunists. In more serious cases, they may be working with dishonest government employees.
The Philippine government considers fixing illegal and has spent years trying to eliminate the practice through anti-red tape and anti-corruption laws.
The penalties are severe.
Fixers can face prison sentences and substantial fines, while public employees caught participating can lose their jobs, benefits, and the right to hold public office.
That’s a good indication of how seriously the government views the problem.
My Experience at the LTO
Years ago, I visited the Land Transportation Office in Cebu City to apply for a Philippine driver’s license.
Like everyone else, I took my number and waited.
After a while, a man approached me.
He quietly explained that he knew someone inside the office and, for a fee, could arrange for me to skip the wait and be called almost immediately.
I thanked him and politely declined.
A short time later, the official I had been waiting for announced it was time for lunch.
Unfortunately, that “lunch break” lasted almost two hours.
Was it connected to my refusing the offer?
I honestly have no idea.
Maybe it was.
Maybe it wasn’t.
Either way, I was glad I stayed in the official process.
Sometimes doing things the right way requires a little patience.
Over time, I’ve discovered that one of the greatest benefits of retiring here is accepting that life doesn’t always have to move at full speed, which is why I came to appreciate The Luxury Nobody Talks About: Less Hassle.
This Isn’t Just a Philippines Story
Before anyone concludes this is uniquely Filipino, let me share another experience.
Several years ago, while visiting Germany, I stood in line waiting to use an ATM.
A man approached me and offered to move me to the front of the line—for a fee.
I politely declined.
He immediately became angry and started shouting, “American Pig!” while pointing at me for everyone nearby to hear.
It was embarrassing.
The point is simple.
Every country has people looking for shortcuts.
Every country has opportunists.
Fortunately, these situations are the exception rather than the rule, and most of the adjustments retirees make involve understanding local customs rather than avoiding problems, which is exactly what I discovered in The Heat Is Only Half the Story.
Most Filipinos Don’t Like Fixers Either
One thing worth remembering is that honest Filipinos dislike fixers just as much as everyone else.
They slow down legitimate transactions.
They undermine honest government employees.
They damage public trust.
And they create problems for both locals and foreigners.
The vast majority of government employees you’ll encounter are simply trying to do their jobs.
Treat them with courtesy and patience, and you’ll usually receive the same in return.
My Advice
If someone approaches you outside a government office and offers to “help,” keep a few simple rules in mind:
- Politely decline.
- Stay in the official line.
- Pay only official government fees.
- Ask questions only at official information counters.
- For complicated immigration or legal matters, use licensed professionals or accredited immigration specialists—not someone who approaches you in a parking lot.
You may spend a little more time waiting.
But you’ll never have to wonder whether you’ve accidentally become part of something illegal.
Patience Is Part of Retiring Here
Living in the Philippines has taught me many things.
One of the biggest lessons has been that adapting to a different culture usually means changing your expectations instead of trying to change the country, much like I learned in The Sounds of the Philippines: How I Learned to Stop Fighting the Noise.
One of them is that life often moves at a different pace than it does in America.
Sometimes that slower pace can be frustrating.
More often, it’s simply part of adapting to a different culture.
As retirees, we’re usually no longer racing to make a business meeting or punch a time clock.
Waiting an extra hour isn’t the end of the world.
The safest shortcut is often no shortcut at all.
When someone you’ve never met quietly says, “I can help you,” remember that the easiest answer is often the smartest one:
“No thank you. I’ll wait my turn.”
The longer I live in the Philippines, the more I realize that patience, flexibility, and understanding local customs make retirement here far more enjoyable than trying to rush everything.
Your Turn
Have you ever been approached by someone offering to “help” you skip a line or speed up paperwork while traveling or living abroad?
Whether it happened in the Philippines or somewhere else in the world, I’d love to hear how you handled the situation.
Please avoid naming individuals or making accusations about specific offices or employees. The goal is to help future retirees learn from each other’s experiences and encourage everyone to use official procedures whenever possible.
Continue Exploring
Getting Around in the Philippines: Why I Don’t Own a Car and Never Will Again
Why transportation is easier than many retirees expect.
Cash Is Still King in the Philippines
One of the most practical lessons every newcomer quickly learns.
The Day I Met the Bucket
Every American’s first Philippine bathroom surprise.
Bunker Rule
When someone whispers, “I can help you,” smile, say “No thank you,” and stay in the official line. Patience is cheaper than shortcuts.
Bunker Notice
Reality Check: Most Filipinos are honest, law-abiding people who dislike fixers just as much as anyone else. This article isn’t meant to criticize the Philippines. It’s simply practical advice to help newcomers recognize an illegal practice that can occur in many countries and avoid unnecessary problems by following official procedures.