One of the unexpected pleasures of retiring in the Philippines has been discovering that massages are not considered a luxury.

They’re considered normal.

As an older guy, I have the usual assortment of:

• aches,
• pains,
• sore muscles,
• stiff joints,

that seem to appear automatically after age seventy.

Back in America, regular massage therapy was something I viewed as an occasional treat.

Here?

I get a massage about three times a week.

Not the “deep tissue torture session” that leaves you walking sideways for three days afterward.

Just a gentle, relaxing fifteen-minute massage that helps keep the machinery operating.

And no, before somebody asks:

I’m not talking about the “happy ending” variety sometimes associated with certain parts of Southeast Asia.

I’m talking about legitimate massage therapy, which is deeply woven into everyday Filipino life.

The Philippines Loves Massage

One of the first things many foreigners notice is:

There are massage places everywhere.

You’ll find them:

• in malls,
• on street corners,
• in resorts,
• in hotels,
• in shopping centers,
• and even available for home visits.
• On the beaches

Types of Massage

Traditional Hilot

The famous Filipino healing massage.

Practitioners use:

• coconut oil,
• traditional techniques,
• and sometimes banana leaves

to locate what they believe are blockages or areas needing attention.

Swedish Massage

The most common relaxation massage.

Deep Tissue Massage

Not my favorite.

At my age, I prefer to remain friends with my muscles.

Shiatsu and Combination Massage

Pressure-point therapy with varying levels of discomfort depending on how brave you’re feeling.

What It Costs

This is the part that shocks Americans.

Neighborhood massage:

₱350–₱600 ($6–$10)

Mid-range spa:

₱800–₱1,500 ($15–$25)

Luxury spa:

₱2,000–₱4,000 ($35–$70)

Compare that to many American spas charging:

$100–$200 per session.

Popular Chains

• Nuat Thai
• Mont Albo
• Thai Royale
• Mandara Spa
• Yuan Spa
• Breeze Oriental Spa

The Massage I Decided Was Not For Me

When I told my friends back in America about one particular Philippine massage experience, they assumed I was making it up.

I wasn’t.

At one point, the Cebu City Zoo offered:

Python Massage Therapy.

Participants would lie down while:

• four Burmese pythons,
• weighing over 500 pounds combined,

were draped across their bodies.

Apparently, the muscle contractions of the snakes provided the massage.

The zoo assured visitors that:

• the snakes were well fed,
• each had consumed around ten chickens beforehand,
• and participants were advised not to scream, breathe heavily, or blow on the snakes.

The treatment was included with the zoo admission price.

Personally?

I decided to pass.

With my luck, one of the snakes would have still been hungry.

The Bottom Line

One of the greatest surprises of retiring in the Philippines is discovering that many things Americans consider luxuries become affordable parts of everyday life.

For me, regular massages have become:

• affordable,
• accessible,
• relaxing,
• and genuinely beneficial.

The only rule I follow is simple:

If the massage requires feeding the therapist ten chickens beforehand,

I’m probably going to skip it.

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📬 BUNKER NOTICE

One of the unexpected benefits of retiring in the Philippines is discovering that some of life’s little luxuries become affordable parts of everyday life.

Just remember:

If the massage therapist requires ten chickens before beginning your treatment, you may want to consider other options.

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