The Golf Wanker Field Guide (Satire)

1) Slow Play: The Practice-Swing Poet Signature move: 10 practice swings… then a fresh-air shank.Excuse: “Just trying to feel it.”Reality: You’re not “feeling it.” You’re conducting an opera. Paralysis by analysis – trying to think of 10 golf “keys” during a swing – a golfers worst enemy One-liner: If you need ten rehearsals, you’re not … Read more

Ryder Cup Fans: Loud Is Fine. Low-Class Isn’t.

Cheer hard, respect harder. Team golf doesn’t need to sound like a bar fight. On any given Sunday, golf will humble anyone—even the best in the world. That’s part of the magic: skill, nerve, and respect for the shot. Which is why it grates when a tiny minority of American fans act like they’re at … Read more

Cart-Path Rage: Why We Snap on the Course (and How to Keep Your Cool)

Golf should lower your blood pressure, not spike it. If you’ve ever sent a “warning shot” toward a slow group, this one’s for you. We all know road rage—most of it starts before the first brake-check. You climb in already wound up (money, work, home), then a small slight feels huge. Same wiring flips on … Read more

When Golf Balls Bite Back (and the Day I Almost Got Rich)

Getting struck by a golf ball isn’t funny—until my buddy turned an ankle bruise into a fully funded golf trip. Most times getting hit by a golf ball is no laughing matter. People have lost eyes, needed stitches, gotten concussed, and worn a dimpled logo on their skin for weeks as the hematoma changes colors. … Read more