The Expat Digest: What I Wish I Had Known Before Coming to the Philippines

The tourism slogan here is “It’s More Fun in the Philippines,” and after more than a decade living here, I’ve found that to be mostly true.

Nowhere is perfect.

The key is to arm yourself with as much information as possible before deciding to visit the Philippines—or retire here permanently. Don’t put too much stock in every negative story you can watch on YouTube, videos made by disgruntled expats. Some of these are only made to generate clicks. Remember, you’re usually hearing only one side of the story.

The Philippines can be a fantastic place to visit, and for many of us, an even better place to retire. The secret is learning how to find happiness here while avoiding some of the pitfalls that catch newcomers by surprise. It’s difficult to be depressed or angry with all the cheer and good nature of the Filipino people almost everywhere you look.

Today, there is a tremendous amount of information available about visiting and retiring in the Philippines, videos on YouTube made by expats who have lived or are currently living in the Philippines, stories and advice both good and bad. There is really no reason to arrive here cold and unprepared. The observations and advice I share throughout this site are based on my own experiences since first arriving in the Philippines in 2010 and living here continuously since 2012. Having lived on several different islands and in cities both large and small, I’ve developed a pretty good understanding of many of the questions and concerns prospective expats and retirees have.

Back in 2010, I learned many of my lessons the hard way—with no help from the internet, some of them wonderful, some of them painful.

The bottom line?

You ain’t in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.

Had there been YouTube channels, Facebook groups, blogs, and AI tools back then with varying opinions about explaining what life was really like for foreigners in the Philippines, I probably could have avoided some of the more unpleasant experiences I encountered after stepping off the plane in Cebu City, on a hot day in April, where my Philippine adventure began.

Today, there are simply too many good resources available to ignore. Watch the videos. Read the blogs. Listen to the expats who have actually lived here long enough to understand at least some of the realities of life in the Philippines.

Take what you find useful.

Take the rest with a grain of rice.

The Philippines can be a wonderful place to live. I should know.

I’ve retired here permanently, and after all the mistakes, detours, lessons, heartbreaks, and surprises along the way, I finally found my happy place.

Don’t Take My Word for It

If you take one thing away from my story, let it be this:

Don’t come to the Philippines blind.

One of the biggest mistakes I made was arriving with expectations that didn’t match reality, which is why I wrote Why I’m Not Fleeing the Philippines.

Please take the time to explore the resources and YouTube channels I’ve linked at the end of this post. Providing those resources may be the single biggest favor I can do for anyone considering a vacation, a long-term stay, or retirement in the Philippines.

What you’ll find there is what we used to call in the Marines the straight scoop—practical, experience-based information about life here without the hype, fantasy, or nonsense.

If I sound a little blunt at times, it’s only because I want to emphasize how important it is to gather as much good information as possible before making a decision that could change the rest of your life.

The Women: Beautiful, Charming, and a Whole Lot More

Let’s address the subject that brings many men to the Philippines in the first place.

Filipinas are beautiful.

And I’m not just talking about physical beauty.

Many are charming, feminine, family-oriented, resilient, and possess a warmth and kindness that many Western men find deeply attractive. After living here for many years, I can honestly say that one of the first things you’ll notice is that exotic, beautiful women are everywhere you go in the Philippines.

As for age differences?

In the Philippines, they’re generally far less important than they are in the United States or Europe. A Filipina is often more concerned with whether a man is kind, respectful, responsible, and capable of providing stability than with the number of birthdays he’s celebrated. (See my post on age gaps and relationships in the Philippines.)

Are romance scams real?

Of course they are.

I know that because I experienced one myself.

But after living here for many years, I’ve come to understand that not every relationship involving money is necessarily a “scam” in the way Westerners often think of it. For many Filipinas, financial security isn’t greed—it’s survival. When you’re trying to feed children, support parents, or help younger siblings, your priorities may look very different from those of a retired American.

That doesn’t excuse dishonesty.

But it does help explain it.

And if you’re fortunate enough to meet a woman who truly captures your heart—a woman whose smile brightens your day and whose presence makes you believe happiness is still possible—just remember this:

Take your time.

Learn about her family.

Learn about her values.

Learn about her history.

And most importantly, make sure she learns about yours.

Because in the Philippines, as in America, the best relationships are built not on fantasy, but on understanding, trust, and respect.

Romance: Slow Down, Romeo

The real danger in so-called “romance scams” often comes from foreigners convincing themselves they’re smart enough to beat the system.

Filipinas have been navigating family obligations, financial realities, and relationships for generations. They understand people, and many are far better at reading human nature than the average foreigner gives them credit for.

Dating in the Philippines is not like dating in the United States.

For one thing, secrets don’t stay secret for very long. If you’re dating multiple women, chances are someone will find out, and you’ll eventually be called on it.

My advice?

Don’t jump into bed—or into a lifelong commitment—with the first beautiful woman who smiles at you.

You will meet many attractive, charming, and genuinely affectionate women here. Some relationships will be sincere. Others will be transactional. Most fall somewhere in between.

I often compare dating in the Philippines to walking through a shop filled with beautiful but fragile items:

Feel free to look.

Feel free to admire.

But understand that if you break something, you may end up owning it.

Take your time.

Learn about her family.

Learn about her expectations.

And make sure she understands yours.

Leave Your Entrepreneurial Spirit Back Home

Rule #1: Don’t Come Here Planning to Build an Empire

I don’t care if you’ve invented the greatest widget since the wheel.

If you’re thinking about moving to the Philippines to start a business, proceed with extreme caution.

Over the years, I’ve watched foreigners attempt every imaginable venture:

• restaurants,
• bars,
• internet cafés,
• call centers,
• construction companies,
• mining projects,
• tourism businesses.

Some succeeded.

Most did not.

The Philippines is not America, and many foreigners underestimate the legal, cultural, and relationship challenges involved in doing business here.

Take my friend Garry.

Garry was a builder, a contractor, and a graduate of the Monolithic Dome Institute. He came to the Philippines with an incredible idea: affordable concrete dome homes that could withstand typhoons, fires, earthquakes, and flooding—the very disasters that devastate the country every year.

He met politicians.

He met media personalities.

Everyone loved the idea.

Nothing happened.

Why?

I don’t know for certain.

But I learned that having a great idea isn’t enough. Building a successful business here requires relationships, patience, local knowledge, and sometimes a tolerance for frustration that many foreigners simply don’t possess.

Housing? For Most Foreigners, Renting Makes Sense

Rule #2: Think Carefully Before Trying to Buy Property

One of the biggest mistakes foreigners make is assuming that property ownership works the same way it does back home.

It doesn’t.

Foreigners cannot legally own land in the Philippines.

Period.

There are legal structures, lease arrangements, and various workarounds that people discuss endlessly online, but after many years here, my advice is simple:

Rent.

Renting gives you flexibility.

Renting allows you to explore different areas.

Renting lets you leave if circumstances change.

And trust me—circumstances can change.

If your goal is to provide financial security for a Filipina partner after you’re gone, there are usually safer and simpler ways to accomplish that than trying to navigate the complexities of Philippine property law.

Yes, the Cost of Living Is Lower—But…

Rule #3: Don’t Come Here Broke

Forget the YouTube thumbnails.

No, I’m sorry to tell you, you are probably not going to live like a king on $800 a month.

Could you survive?

Perhaps.

Would you enjoy it?

That’s another question.

Most retirees arrive in the Philippines after spending decades becoming accustomed to certain comforts:

• air conditioning,
• decent healthcare,
• reliable internet,
• comfortable housing,
• transportation,
• and food they’re willing to eat.

In my opinion, if you want to retire comfortably in the Philippines today, you should ideally have at least $2,500 to $3,000 per month in reliable income, whether from Social Security, a pension, VA disability, investments, or savings.

And if your retirement plan involves launching a YouTube channel or becoming a travel blogger?

Good luck.

It’s possible.

But it’s also a lot harder than most people imagine.

Respect the Law and Stay Under the Radar

Rule #4: Be A Good Guest

One of the smartest things a foreigner can do in the Philippines is stay out of trouble.

Immigration rules matter.

Visa rules matter.

Driving laws matter.

And if you’re involved in an accident while driving, remember that you may be viewed differently than you would be back home.

My advice?

Avoid unnecessary risks.

Drive carefully.

Stay legal.

Stay polite.

And remember that as a foreigner, you are always more visible than you think.

Check Your Ego at the Airport

Rule #5: Humility Goes A Long Way

If you’re loud, arrogant, constantly angry, or convinced that everything in the Philippines should work exactly like it does in America, you’re probably not going to be very happy here.

Filipinos are among the warmest, friendliest, and most hospitable people I’ve ever met.

But like anyone else, they expect to be treated with respect.

One of the most important concepts to understand in Filipino culture is the idea of avoiding embarrassment and preserving dignity.

Make someone lose face publicly, and you may create problems that could have been avoided entirely.

I’ve also learned that not every scammer in the Philippines is Filipino.

One day in a mall, I was approached by another American who claimed a Filipina had taken all his money and that he just needed enough cash to get home.

I gave him twenty dollars.

Two months later, I saw him in the same mall running the exact same story.

Lesson learned.

Healthcare: Better Than You Might Think

If you’re worried about healthcare in the Philippines, my advice is not to panic.

There are excellent hospitals, doctors, dentists, and specialists available throughout much of the country.

Medical care is often surprisingly affordable by American standards.

I once crashed my motorcycle and broke my collarbone. After examinations, X-rays, consultations with several doctors, and treatment, I walked out of the hospital with a bill of roughly thirty-five dollars.

Veterans with service-connected disabilities also have access to the VA outpatient clinic in Manila, which can be a tremendous benefit for qualifying retirees.

(See my post on VA Manila and healthcare in the Philippines.)

The Jarhead Seal of Approval

At the beginning of this article, I promised to share some of the resources that helped me understand life in the Philippines.

These creators have earned what we used to call in the Marines:

“The straight scoop.”

You may not always agree with them.

Neither do I.

But in my experience, they provide honest, practical information without selling fantasy.

Mikes Philippine Retirement

Mike is a retired American originally from Ohio who now lives happily in Dumaguete.

Look beyond some of the clickbait titles—they’re part of the YouTube game.

The information itself is generally honest, practical, and reliable.

Mike covers everything from visas and housing to relationships, retirement costs, and everyday life in the Philippines, and he regularly hosts live streams where viewers can ask questions directly.

If you’re seriously considering retirement in the Philippines, he’s one of the people worth listening to.

The Filipina Pea

A very charming, seriously cute, and articulate Filipina vlogging from the Filipina perspective, among the many subjects of interest are: discussions with other Filipinas about the age gap question, what Filipinas look for in a man, especially foreigners. Even various topics as sensitive as romance and sex. Here is a sample:

📬 BUNKER NOTICE

When I first came to the Philippines, I didn’t have YouTube channels, Facebook groups, blogs, or AI to tell me what I was getting into.

I had curiosity.

I had hope.

And, if I’m being honest, I had a lot of misconceptions.

Some of my lessons were wonderful.

Some were expensive.

A few were heartbreaking.

If sharing what I’ve learned helps someone else avoid a few mistakes and find happiness a little sooner than I did, then every lesson was worth learning.

Subscribe to The Bunker Briefing for more practical advice, observations, and hard-earned lessons about retiring in the Philippines.