Two legendary etiquette experts spent decades teaching courtesy and civility. What would Emily Post and Miss Manners think of social media, smartphones, and modern behavior in 2026?
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Long before social media influencers, online outrage, and smartphones glued to every hand, two women built careers teaching something that now seems almost revolutionary:
How to treat other people.
One was Emily Post.
The other was Judith Martin, better known as Miss Manners.
If these two icons of etiquette could sit down together in 2026 and observe modern society, what would they think?
More importantly:
Would they recognize the world we’ve created?
Meet Emily Post
Emily Post (1872–1960) became America’s most famous authority on manners after publishing Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home in 1922.
Contrary to popular belief, Emily Post wasn’t obsessed with snobbery or social class.
Her real philosophy was surprisingly simple:
Good manners exist to make other people comfortable.
She believed etiquette was less about forks and dinner parties and more about kindness, consideration, and respect.
The rules themselves mattered less than the reason behind them.
Enter Miss Manners
Judith Martin, writing under the pen name Miss Manners since 1978, took a different approach.
Where Emily Post was warm and encouraging, Miss Manners arrived armed with wit, satire, and a sharpened pencil.
She spent decades observing modern society and documenting what she viewed as a steady decline in civility.
Miss Manners believed etiquette served a practical purpose:
It prevents conflict before conflict begins.
Rules exist so people can navigate life together without turning every interaction into a personal battlefield.
Given today’s culture, she may have had a point.
The World They Never Saw Coming
Neither woman lived in a world where people could broadcast their opinions to thousands of strangers before finishing breakfast.
Neither anticipated viral outrage campaigns.
Neither imagined a society where people would interrupt conversations, meals, vacations, and family gatherings to stare at glowing screens.
Yet both understood the underlying problem.
The technology changed.
Human nature didn’t.
The same behaviors they warned about—self-centeredness, impulsiveness, attention-seeking, dishonesty, and disrespect—simply found new delivery systems. In many ways, today’s culture reflects what I described in The Golden Rule Collapse, where basic consideration for others increasingly takes a back seat to self-expression and outrage.
“The problem isn’t technology. The problem is forgetting that other people exist.”
Emily Post Visits Social Media
Imagine Emily Post opening a social media app.
She would likely be fascinated by the ability to connect with people across the world.
Then she would start reading the comments.
Five minutes later she might quietly ask:
“Why is everyone shouting?”
Emily believed communication should make people feel comfortable, respected, and included.
Social media often rewards the exact opposite.
The loudest voices receive the most attention.
Social media rewards visibility, not necessarily wisdom. That’s one reason why so many public conversations now resemble the problems discussed in Modern Society Has a Depth Problem.
The most outrageous comments spread the fastest.
The angriest participants gain the largest audiences.
That would probably leave her puzzled.
Not because she opposed technology.
Because she understood that courtesy is supposed to reduce friction, not create it.
Miss Manners Visits Social Media
Miss Manners would require considerably less time to form an opinion.
After reading a few comment threads she would likely close the app and announce:
“I warned you people.”
She has long argued that informality eventually becomes carelessness.
Carelessness becomes disrespect.
Disrespect becomes conflict.
Social media simply industrialized the process.
The modern expectation that every text must be answered immediately would likely irritate her.
The public oversharing would horrify her.
The dinner-table phone scrolling would probably earn one of her legendary sarcastic responses.
In interviews, she has suggested that if someone pulls out a phone during dinner, the meal may as well be over.
Miss Manners believes the people physically sitting in front of you should always outrank the people living inside your device.
A radical concept in 2026.
An Imaginary Conversation
I sometimes imagine Emily Post and Miss Manners sharing coffee while observing modern life.
Emily Post:
“People seem terribly angry with one another.”
Miss Manners:
“They now possess machines that allow them to broadcast every passing irritation to thousands of strangers.”
Emily Post:
“Perhaps they simply need guidance.”
Miss Manners:
“They have guidance. They ignore it.”
Emily Post:
“Surely people still wish to be kind.”
Miss Manners:
“Many do. Unfortunately, many now mistake rudeness for authenticity.”
Emily Post:
“Then we should remind them that manners exist to make others comfortable.”
Miss Manners:
“And I shall remind them that being comfortable is not the same thing as being right.”
I suspect both women would find plenty to criticize.
But I also think they would agree on one important point:
The problem is not technology.
The problem is forgetting that other people exist.
The result is a society where courtesy declines, public behavior deteriorates, and everyday interactions become more hostile—a trend that shows up everywhere from social media comment sections to airports, cruise ships, and public spaces, as discussed in The Collapse of Basic Travel Etiquette.
The Real Lesson
It’s easy to laugh at old etiquette books.
Many of their rules seem outdated today.
But the underlying principle remains remarkably relevant.
Whether you’re writing a handwritten letter in 1922 or posting online in 2026, the same question applies:
Would you say this if the person were standing in front of you?
If the answer is no, Emily Post and Miss Manners would probably suggest keeping it to yourself.
And judging by modern comment sections, that’s advice society could use more than ever.
After all, Emily Post spent her life teaching people how to behave.
Judging from the state of things today, she may be rolling over in her grave.
Fortunately, Miss Manners appears fully prepared to join her.
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