So let me get this straight: OpenAI is teaming up with Walmart to train millions of employees on artificial intelligence.
Do I need to cancel my 28-day AI challenge subscription now? Or do I just show up at the greeter’s post and ask ChatGPT where the Velveeta is?
They’re calling it free training, but we all know better. Free ain’t free. Somebody’s footing the bill, and odds are it’s the same folks already paying $9.99 for a six-pack of tube socks and walking out with a cart full of “rollback” regrets.
The Walmart Factor
Walmart. The place where quality goes to get trampled by price. That hotbed of Chinese junk sales. Dumbass employees. Even dumber customers. Remember the joke with the ring of truth?
“Covid-19: the only thing made in China to last this long.”
This is the company now being entrusted with ushering millions of workers into the AI era. What could possibly go wrong? Answer: Plenty!
Walmart – where the dress code defies logic.
Will Walmart workers use AI to help them embezzle better. Use it to explore new ways not to get caught. Will shoplifters use AI to scam the self-checkouts, scanning only 2 items of 6 yet showing paid on a receipt?.
Numbers Over Credibility
Why Walmart? Because it isn’t about credibility—it’s about numbers. Millions of employees under one roof means millions of people that OpenAI can say it “trained.” Costco? JC Penney? Nah. Too classy, too niche. This is about volume.
But does mass exposure equal legitimacy? Or is AI now doomed to share shelf space with clearance-rack Crocs and off-brand toaster ovens?
The Free Myth
Sure, Walmart’s pitching this as an employee perk. But “free” is always a con. Free training just means someone else is paying, or someone’s cutting corners. This isn’t open source credibility—it’s bargain bin credibility.
Chatrodamus Predicts
The future of AI at Walmart:
- Self-checkout machines that argue with you.
- Greeters upselling ChatGPT+ instead of carts.
- Smart carts that won’t shut up about the rollback on hemorrhoid cream.
AI, meet Aisle 9. This is where credibility goes to die.