I recently read a Fox News article titled:
“5 Reasons More Americans Are Cutting Off Their Own Parents, According to a Psychologist.”
Part of the Real Life collection — practical observations, human behavior, everyday systems, and the realities people often learn the hard way.
Now, psychologists have a wonderful talent.
They can take something your grandfather explained in twelve words…
…and turn it into a six-year research project with charts, graphs, and terms nobody has ever used at a family barbecue.
As I worked through this expert’s explanations, I found myself translating them into something Joe Everyman might actually understand.
Reason #1: Politics and Values
The expert says people are estranging themselves because of political and value differences.
Really?
You needed a psychologist to tell us that?
We’ve watched families stop speaking over politics for the last decade.
The only surprising part is that someone got paid to explain what every Thanksgiving dinner in America has already demonstrated.
Still, here’s the part that amazes me.
During the Civil War, brothers literally fought on opposite sides of the battlefield.
Today some families refuse to attend the same Christmas dinner because Uncle Bob voted for the wrong candidate.
Progress.
Political disagreements aren’t the only place where outrage has replaced conversation. Why Are People So Angry Today explores why so many people now define themselves by what they oppose.
Reason #2: Social Media
The expert says social media encourages people to cut off their families.
Apparently watching enough TikTok videos can convince you that your parents are “toxic narcissistic boundary violators.”
Joe Everyman translates that as:
“I watched three influencers, and now I’m diagnosing my mother.”
Then the psychologist introduced one of my favorite pieces of modern expert-speak:
“Word-of-mouth mimicry.”
Joe Everyman calls that:
Copying somebody.
Social media didn’t create every family problem, but it certainly amplified them. The Rage Bait Economy Problem examines why outrage has become one of the internet’s most profitable business models.
It’s amazing how much smarter ordinary behavior sounds once you attach enough syllables to it.
Then came my favorite sentence of the entire interview:
“Absence of evidence isn’t evidence of absence.”
Translation:
“We can’t prove it… but we’re going to keep talking as if it’s true anyway.”
Somewhere Kamala Harris probably nodded in appreciation.
Reason #3: Therapy Culture
According to the expert, many adults now blame their parents for their own struggles.
On this point, he may actually have a point.
Playing the victim has become a competitive sport.
If life doesn’t go your way…
Find someone else to blame.
Parents make convenient targets because they can’t exactly resign from the job after thirty years.
When victimhood becomes a form of social currency, personal responsibility often becomes the first casualty. The Convenience Trap looks at what happens when the easiest explanation becomes the most popular one.
Now before anyone starts sharpening the pitchforks…
There are absolutely parents who are abusive.
There are parents who deserve to be cut off.
But disagreement isn’t abuse.
Voting differently isn’t abuse.
Telling your teenager to clean his room isn’t abuse.
Somewhere along the way we’ve started confusing inconvenience with trauma.
Reason #4: Communication
The psychologist recommends listening carefully…
Repeating back what the other person said…
Avoiding words like “always” and “never”…
Using “I feel” statements…
That all sounds wonderful.
Right up until somebody screams,
“You’ve always been just like your father!”
At that point, the communication seminar usually ends.
Anyone who’s ever witnessed a real family argument knows logic often leaves the room long before the first raised voice.
Reason #5: Outside Influences
The expert points to spouses, parenting philosophies, and outside influences.
Fair enough.
Sometimes people absolutely influence how we view our families.
Then he uses celebrities as examples.
Because nothing says “average American family” quite like Prince Harry.
Thanks, Doc.
Very relatable.
Joe Everyman’s Conclusion
After translating all of this expert analysis into ordinary English, here’s what I came away with.
Families are complicated.
Some relationships really are beyond repair.
Others are broken over things that probably could have been forgiven if pride hadn’t gotten involved.
The older I get, the more I appreciate what I’ve learned living in the Philippines.
Living in the Philippines has shown me a very different approach to family life. Three Strikes vs. Forgive & Forget compares two cultures that often handle family conflict in remarkably different ways.
Filipino families argue.
Sometimes loudly.
Sometimes dramatically.
But they also seem far more willing to forgive, reconcile, and show up for one another.
Maybe that’s something America could use a little more of.
Because sometimes the greatest family counselor in the world isn’t a psychologist.
It’s simply time.
💬 Your Turn
Have you ever seen a family disagreement turn into years of silence?
Do you think Americans have become too quick to cut off family members, or are there situations where walking away is the healthiest choice?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Every family has disagreements, but every family also has its own story.
🧠 Continue Exploring Real Life
Family conflict is only one example of how modern thinking shapes our relationships. These articles explore the assumptions, biases, and behaviors that influence the way we see ourselves—and each other.
- ⚖️ Moral Licensing
Why doing one good thing sometimes gives people permission to justify bad behavior later. - 🎭 The Fairness Illusion
Life has never been perfectly fair—but our expectations about fairness have changed dramatically. - 🎓 The Expert Problem
When common sense collides with expert opinion, who should we trust? - 📖 The Family Narrator
Every family has someone who remembers the stories, settles the debates, and keeps the past alive.
← Return to 🏠 Real Life
Bunker Rule
Family disagreements can be deeply personal. Share your experiences and opinions with respect, recognizing that every family has its own history. Healthy debate is welcome, but personal attacks on other commenters are not.
Bunker Notice
Real Life explores the ideas, habits, and behaviors shaping modern society. Sometimes the best way to understand a complicated issue is to strip away the jargon, apply a little common sense, and ask whether we’re solving problems—or simply inventing new ones.